He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
