I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.