Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle

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  (810): This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle http://tfl.nu/hm2k
  Replies (23) Good night (581) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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  (847): I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around. http://tfl.nu/b39f
  Replies (10) Good night (1102) Bad night (4568) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7946) Bad night (1054)
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.

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  (562): I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here. http://tfl.nu/jxmt
  Replies (22) Good night (3425) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.

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  (916): It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness. http://tfl.nu/trjv
  Replies (4) Good night (2128) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4596) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

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  (415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (1064)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

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  (330): I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come. http://tfl.nu/lijh
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

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  (425): He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit." http://tfl.nu/w4dk
  Replies (8) Good night (1996) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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  (619): I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain. http://tfl.nu/rwko
  Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?

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  (832): You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you? http://tfl.nu/n46m
  Replies (9) Good night (1552) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"

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  (703): After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken" http://tfl.nu/pqky
  Replies (7) Good night (684) Bad night (965)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

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  (620): He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me. http://tfl.nu/rk0r
  Replies (7) Good night (1603) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1490) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (707) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt

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