so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.