She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.