Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
