alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You made out with two different species that night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
