Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
