Non-Jews are for practice
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
