so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize