they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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