when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
