Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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