I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
