the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
