normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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