god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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