We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
