I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
