i already hear my dad disowning me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
