I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Semen is not good for contacts.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
