I bet he comes in French.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
