clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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