Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
