Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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