i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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