Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
