He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
