I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
