I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
