they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
