i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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