sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
where are my eyebrows?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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