Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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