I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
