No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
