GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
