ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
