Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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