I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
