Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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