stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize