Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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