I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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