The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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