Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize