im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize