The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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