'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
