Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
