Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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