Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
