Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize