Whod you bang
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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