What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I need to stop coming to work sober
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
