Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
