i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly