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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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  Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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• (415): View more from California

  he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20

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• (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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• (315): View more from New York

  not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.

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