I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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