Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
