Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
