i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
