U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
