i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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