Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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