i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
